


side effects

by beeetle



Series: Preludes [11]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Greasers, Alternate Universe - The Outsiders (S. E. Hinton) Fusion, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Catra (She-Ra), Catra has a praise kink, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Friends to Enemies, Friends to Lovers, Multi, Mutual Pining, Service Top Adora (She-Ra), Smut, Socs, Useless Lesbians, amputee scorpia, only smut in the last chapter, self indulgent greaser soc au, somehow enemies and lovers at the same time, tipsy makeouts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:20:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25197604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beeetle/pseuds/beeetle
Summary: “You love her, don’t you?” Scorpia asked."She’s been my best friend my entire life,” Catra replied with a breath.“That’s not what I meant, wildcat.”She was in love with Adora Grayskull. Her childhood companion, her best friend, her rival. Adora.Catra didn’t have the energy to stop crying long enough to reply.orthe self indulgent greaser/soc au that no one asked for
Relationships: Adora & Bow & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Catra & Scorpia (She-Ra), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Series: Preludes [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767265
Comments: 24
Kudos: 273





	1. side effects

**Author's Note:**

> (hey, Erika x)
> 
> for those unfamiliar with Greasers and Socs:
> 
> greaser; a gang of poor and lower-middle class teens and young adults, typically styled with leather or denim jackets and greased back hair, and carry switchblades and cigarettes  
> soc; short for 'social', upper-middle and upper class teenagers and young adults, rivals to the Greasers, described as having money, cars, and futures, typically wear expansive brands and styles
> 
> enjoy the catradora!

If you were born a Greaser, you died a Greaser. Someone had told Catra that once. She assumed it was to scare her, or keep her from trying to be anything more than what she was; one of wild nobodies, raised in the back streets, with grease in their hair and stolen cigarettes in their pockets. Catra never cared for what people said about her, but she knew they were wrong that you would die what you were born. Adora Grayskull was living proof of that.

Adora and Catra grew up in the same house, a foster agency on the east side of town where no one ever came. But that was okay. Catra and Adora had one another, and as long as they were together the world could throw anything it liked at them and they would handle it. 

Adora was made for something better than this crumbling building and public schools, Catra had known that since they were kids. Even in the worst school in town, Adora thrived. She threw herself into studies, grabbing any piece of information she could stuff into that head of hers, while Catra fiddled with the butterfly knife Adora had bought her for her birthday. Catra had tried to study, but what was the point? She was street smart, not book smart. She knew how to take down a man twice her size, how to keep yourself from freezing to death if you have to sleep outside at night, how to sneak alcohol into school on the days when the world was too much.

They were an odd pair, everyone knew that, but they pushed and pulled together, ebbed and flowed through the hardships of life, and made things work with the cards they’d been dealt. Not once did you ever see Catra and Adora apart. 

But now they were finishing high school. Adora and Catra were leaving the foster agency, finally too old. Catra had managed to get a part time job at a gas station on the east side, a center of activity for a gang that called themselves the Horde. Adora applied to Brightmoon Academy, Etheria’s most prestigious college. She had applied as a joke, even letting Catra read over her application letter with a wide grin. While it was partly for shits and giggles, it was also partly to see if they would accept her. They were packing to leave when the letter came in.

“Hey, Adora! There’s mail for you!” Catra had come bounding in still stinking of gas and cigarettes, sprinting up to their room with the letter in hand.

“What mail?” Adora yelled back, stuffing her borrowed books into a bag.

“From Brightmoon, dummy! Remember, you applied?”

Adora paused, seeing Catra with a wide grin in the doorway, walking over and taking the letter.    
  


“I wonder what fancy handwriting they used to tell me I didn’t get in,” Adora chuckled, ripping the envelope. Catra peeked over her shoulder to see the letter, and Adora let her in the way they always did.

“I bet they use two different fonts depending on who gets in and who doesn’t,” Catra sneered with a wide grin. Both of them had laughed, before both of them froze, reading the contents of the letter.

Adora had gotten accepted. Brightmoon Academy had offered her a full varsity scholarship to play baseball and study history.

“I...I actually got in,” Adora breathed, and Catra remembers the moment like yesterday; it was the first time she ever had to picture a future without Adora.

“Doesn’t mean you have to take the offer dummy,” Catra joked, lightly nudging her with an elbow before heading to her bed and stuffing items into a bag.

“Right,” Adora had mumbled, but both of them knew it wasn’t convincing.

When Autumn came, Adora was gone. She had told Catra that she would come find her every moment she wasn’t busy so they could spend time together. Catra told her not to bother. Now, Catra had to deal with the side effects that came with a life without Adora.

She had tried to be happy for Adora, truly. She got to study her favourite subject at the best school she could have dreamed of going to. But every time she tried, the anger that rose within her made Catra want to vomit. Adora left her. Adora didn’t want her anymore. 

It had been almost a year since then. Catra had found a crowd within the Horde, namely with the resident muscle, Scorpia, a double amputee who worked tirelessly to pay off her prosthetics (which packed a punch; literally). She was sweet, and Catra hated that the word described her because sweetness always made her think of someone else. It made her think of the strawberry body lotion Adora had swiped from the drug store, of the sugar Adora always had in her coffee, of the taste of Adora’s chapstick. Apparently sweetness sticks together.

Catra had let the name slip once, and cursed herself immediately for it, but it had captured Scorpia’s attention.

“Adora? You know Adora?” she had asked, and it took every ounce of Catra not to bubble over. She didn’t know if she would cry or scream.

“Yeah. Grew up together, you know her?” Catra had managed.

“I do, yes! I do general maintenance around the Brightmoon campus, especially the sporting areas so we bump into each other a lot. She’s a real doll, one time she e v e n- ”

Catra let Scorpia’s words flow over her, her heart banging in her chest and her hands fiddling with her butterfly knife she couldn’t bear to throw out.

“ Y’ k n o w she even invited me to this party that the team is having this weekend, said I could even bring a plus 1! I told her I’d have to think about it but-”

“You should go,” Catra butted in, turning around to face her with a light smirk. “And I’m coming with you.”

\---

“Adora!”

Adora perked up, wiping the sweat from her brow and looking in the direction of the voice. She managed a light smile as she saw two of her schoolmates jogging over. Bow and Glimmer, two people that were wildly different to the people she grew up with.

Bow was another history major, destined to take over fathers' library, stocked to the ceiling with their town's (surprisingly) expansive history. After being stuck together on a project, the two found they gelled rather well together. Then, Adora met Glimmer.

  
  


Daughter of the Headmistress, aspiring physicist, and everything Adora was raised to hate. Clean pressed outfits, overpriced perfume, and a penchant for sparkles, she was the textbook Soc that she had learned to avoid. At first, it was mutual. The pair only interacted because of their respective associations with Bow who, bless his soul, wanted the pair to also become friends. It took 6 months but Adora and Glimmer decided to try, for Bow's sake. Turns out, the pair had more in common than first thought. Along with a short temper, both had a love for bad movies, a similar sense of humour, and a competitive nature that was especially present during baseball practice. Maybe Socs weren't all as bad as she thought.

And so the duo became a trio, that now frequented the games of the Brightmoon Rebels, either on or off the field.

"Hey!" Adora waved, shaking her sore arms slightly as the pair grew closer. "What's up?"

"Why are you still out here? I thought you were going to the party tonight," Bow asked, fiddling with his car keys.

"I mean, I am. You two will be there right?"

"Duh! Come on, we've gotta get you ready, you can't go in your sweaty practice gear," Glimmer teased, lightly bumping her hip against Adora's. "Pre drinks and makeover in my dorm! Plus we can have a sleepover after so we don't-"

While Bow and Glimmer grabbed one wrist each to pull Adora along, the blonde let the words stay temporary in her mind, thinking about the warmth of the sun. Adora remembered another type of warmth she had missed. It made her think of Catra's leather jacket that never fit her quite right, of the burnt coffee Catra sculled in the early mornings, of Catra's lips pressed to her cheek after a nightmare. A chill shot up Adora's spine, and the cold set in.

\---

As the school loomed over her, Catra’s skin crawled. She was in one of the most dangerous places for a Greaser to be, with only an acquaintance on her side. She didn’t even know why she had decided to come to this stupid party. It’s not like Adora was going to be there anyway. Would she? She was never the type for parties, especially not ones with alcohol. Half the time, Adora would end up in the corner with a book in hand, dragging Catra back home when she’d black out. She’d always be way too chipper the next morning, having tucked Catra in the night before, leaving her to wake up warm with coffee on her bedside table.  _ Don’t think about that. _

“You alright, wild cat?” 

Scorpia looked concerned, and Catra hated it. Her eyes, face, and naturally imposing figure all looked  _ softer _ , right down to the prosthetics.

“Fine,” she grumbled in response, fiddling with her knife inside the pocket of her leather jacket. “Let’s just get this over with. We can mess with some Socs and then go get fucked up. They have that stupid curfew at 11 anyway.”

Catra started stalking towards the building before Scorpia managed to reply. Once she reached the door, she waited for Scorpia to catch up, deciding to let her companion do the talking before she ripped some Soc’s head off. After three knocks, the door opened. A fairly tall man with dark hair and skin peered around the door frame.

“Scorpia! You made it!” he greeted, the woman in question immediately dragging him into one of her signature hugs.

“Wouldn’t miss it, Bow! Oh, I did bring a plus one. Adora said that would be okay?” 

The man, Bow, looked to Catra and she smirked in reply. He didn’t seem perturbed, concerned, or even confused. Maybe he didn’t know Adora.  _ Maybe Adora just doesn’t talk about you. _

“Uh, yeah she did! C’mon in.” He stepped aside, opening the door further and letting the two women enter, quickly pressing a cup of jungle juice into their hands.

  
  
  


The room was covered with decorations in white, gold and pale purple. Red cups were scattered on tables and benches as far as the eye can see. The room stank of sweet alcohol and sweat stained gear, and even among the ruckus Catra managed to hear her laugh.

She had turned to face Adora before she had even realised, and her chest grew tight just looking at her. She had barely changed. That dumb smile of hers was still as wide as ever, almost snorting at whatever the girl doused in sparkles had said to her. Catra let her eyes wander over the familiar figure, seeing her hair tied back with that dumb poof she was never without, the ratty red hi-tops that seemed to refuse to give up, the grey jeans stained at the bottoms. Eyes trailing back up, Catra gasped.

Adora was wearing the jacket she gave her. The red track one with three stripes of white piping down both sleeves; Catra had bought it with her first paycheck and kept it hidden until Adora’s birthday the next month. She wore it everywhere in their high school years. She still had it.

  
  


A sound of glass clanging together brought Catra back to the present. Gaze still focused on the blonde, Catra saw that Adora had bumped one of the many alcohol bottles on the kitchen bench, barely managing to catch it before it ended in disaster dominos. Clumsy as ever.

“Nice catch, Adora!” Scorpia chuckled. Wait. Scorpia was right next to her. Catra watched as Adora’s gaze moved to Scorpia with a grin then flicker across to her. Adora’s face paled, and Catra smirked to disguise the fact that her heart was beating out of her chest. Eyes blown wide, Adora stammered out something before sculling what was left in her cup, worming her way through the crowd and up a set of stairs.

“Woah, is it just me or is Adora acting kind of weird?” Scorpia mumbled, leaning down slightly to whisper to Catra. She gave a nonchalant shrug, taking a sip of her drink.

“Not sure,” she hummed, before a smirk ghosted her lips. “Why don’t you stay here and enjoy the party? I’ll go check on her.”

“You sure?”

Catra nodded at the taller woman. “I insist. Go have some fun.”

Scorpia paused for a minute before nodding, moving towards a blonde girl with pink flowers in her hair, smiling wide. Rolling her eyes with a slight chuckle, Catra stuck to the edge of the room to ascend the stairs, trying to quiet the pounding in her chest. A growl of annoyance left her lips, climbing the stairs a little faster.

"Okay, you know what, this is totally fine! Yep, it's just- it's just Catra." The sound was coming from a door halfway down the hall, the door open just a peek but Catra could recognise that jacket anywhere. Exhaling, she slowly walked to the outside of the door, and smirked.

"Hey, Adora."

The effect was instant. The door was flung open, revealing Adora's flushed face and blue grey eyes which narrowed at Catra, pupils blown wide. She could practically taste the alcohol on Adora's breath, and blamed the skip of her heart on that.

"What are you doing here?"

"Checking on you," Catra purred, leaning against the door frame. "You rushed off pretty suddenly, and you always were a lightweight. I just wanted to check you didn't pass out on the floor."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," Adora grumbled. She was trying so hard to be mad, but Catra didn't miss those eyes flick down. "What are you doing here?"

"Didn't realise it was a crime to come to a party. Besides, I'm here with Scorpia. I was invited," she drawled, moving slightly closer but Adora didn't budge. Almost like she wanted Catra there.

"And yet, you're here with me," Adora mumbled. Catra had known this girl for years, knew how her chest rose and fell in her sleep, knew her giddiness on the rare occasion she drank. But that softness on her face took even Catra by surprise. For a moment, she could pretend Adora had always looked at her this way. Like she was in love.

"Not because I like you, dummy," Catra breathed, feeling their faces grow closer.

"Then why are you letting me so close to you?" Adora replied in a whisper, breath falling on Catra's lips.

"How drunk are you?" Catra asked with a chuckle, making no effort to pull away. The alcohol in her system was starting to hit, and she needed Adora to just touch her already.

"Drunk enough to make impulsive decisions, and sober enough to remember them."

Catra raised her eyebrows. "So, you're going to remember this?"

Adora gave a nonchalant shrug. "Only one way to find out."

Catra smirked, grabbing Adora's belt loops and pulling her flush against her. A gasp left her lips, but her hands fell into place on Catra's sides, almost daring her to make a move.

"Fuck's sake," Catra mumbled, giving up control, grabbing the back of Adora's neck and kissing her.

The feeling on Adora's lips on hers, kissing her back while her hands tugged on any part of Catra she could reach, was intoxicating. Catra was in trouble. The blonde moaned into the kiss, and Catra practically whined. Adora Grayskull, the crown jewel of the Brightmoon Rebels, was falling apart under her touch, her kiss.  _ Catra _ was doing this to her.

With what little sense she had left, Catra walked Adora back far enough that they were both inside the bathroom, still kissing and reaching for each other. She still tasted the same. Closing the door, Catra spun the pair and pressed the blonde against it, the kiss breaking with a gasp from Adora. Head swimming in the sweetness, the brunette held her hips firm against the door, lips and teeth marking a trail along Adora’s neck, kissing her pulse point as her head rolled back.

  
  


“ _ Catra. _ ” 

She felt her heart skip a beat at the moan, gripping her hips and biting the soft skin of her collar. Adora’s hands wandered up the expanse of her back, one pulling Catra flush against her while the other tangled in the mess of her hair and scratched her scalp. Catra hated the purr that left her lips, until Adora moaned in response.

“You’re so needy,” she chuckled against her skin, Adora responding with a breathy laugh of her own.

“I missed this,” the blonde mumbled, both hands carding across Catra’s scalp. “I missed you.” 

Catra moved up to look Adora in the eyes, blue-grey shining with nothing but honesty.

“Just stop talking,” Catra grumbled, kissing Adora fiercely and hoping she could taste her answer.  _ I missed you too.  _

  
  
  


Time didn't seem to matter as long as the two were touching, lips and hands trailing over bodies and clinging to whatever they could. Minutes might have been hours, but Catra didn't care. She wanted to enjoy this now; she could regret it later.

Two sharp raps on the door disturbed the moment.

“It’s occupied, asshole,” Catra growled, lifting her head from Adora’s neck for a moment.

“ _ Catra! Perfect, okay uh we kind of have to go.” _

“Scorpia?” she mumbled, hands falling down to Adora’s hips. “What’s going on?”

_ “Campus Security showed up, and we’re not supposed to be here this late. If we get caught, we’re toast. We have to go, now.” _

The door flung open, a panicked Scorpia looking between the pair. Adora took a step away from Catra, and she immediately missed the warmth beneath her hands.

“Climb out the window here,” Adora started, staring at nowhere in particular while two sets of eyes watched her intently. “There’s footholds in the wall all the way down, and the dirt path leads all the way out to Crimson Way.”

Catra narrowed her eyes at Adora, her mind swimming with alcohol and sweetness trying to piece this together.

“Why are you helping us?” she asked.  _ Why are you helping me? _ Catra meant.

“What good comes from me letting you get caught?” Adora turned to face Catra, that stupid honesty still in her eyes. “Just go, I’ll cover for you long enough to get to where the trees start.”

Scorpia nodded, brushing past the two and opening the window. Wordlessly, Catra and Scorpia agreed the larger woman would go out the window first, seeing as she would need more time.

“What are you going to do?” Catra asked, watching Adora stare at the door with a blank stare.

“Make sure you don’t get into trouble,” she replied, a ghost of a smile on her lips. Catra was too drunk to figure out why. Drunk on that dumb Jungle Juice, drunk on the taste of Adora on her lips, drunk on  _ Adora _ . 

“But how?  _ Why? _ ” she whispered, bicolour eyes searching the blonde’s face. 

“Because-”

“Catra!”  _ Goddamnit Scorpia _ . 

“Go, quick,” Adora turned around and placed her hands on Catra’s shoulders, pushing her ever so slightly. “I’ll distract them, but you need to go  _ now _ .”

“But-”

Adora firmly pulled Catra in, kissing her with a softness she didn’t know was possible before it ended as soon as it began.

“We’ll talk about this later, okay?” she breathed. “Go.”

Heart in her stomach, Catra moved towards the window, watching Adora bolt out of the bathroom.  _ Off to save the day, again. _ Climbing down the wall, Catra tasted salt on her lips.

\---

Catra didn’t remember getting home. Her hands reached for the covers, but only found air.

“Hmm?” Why was it so cold? Why couldn’t she smell coffee? Adora should be up by now-

Catra opened her eyes, slowly turning her head and gazing around her. She was lying on the kitchen floor of her shitty studio apartment, a hangover beating her head in, and all she could taste and smell was sweetness. But she was alone.

Catra squeezed her eyes shut, breathing in deep and letting the cheap strawberry scent drown her while it still lasted. Her jaw hurt, her shoulders shaking as she hiccuped and tried to breathe, clutching the butterfly knife in her pocket and choking on the taste of salt on her lips.

Catra didn’t know what hurt more; the side effects of Adora leaving her, or the struggle of clinging to what Catra had left of her, trying to pretend she was still here.

_ I missed you too, you idiot. _

_ I miss you. _

_ I need you. _

_ I love you. _


	2. strawberries and cigarettes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You love her, don’t you?” Scorpia asked.
> 
> “She’s been my best friend my entire life,” Catra replied with a breath.
> 
> “That’s not what I meant, wildcat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to the brilliant @scarletpiano13 for proofreading all my stuff and being the baseline for my angst!
> 
> chapter was inspired by Strawberries and Cigarettes by Troye Sivan, reccommend giving that a listen while you read.
> 
> (also, hello again Erika x)

Catra detested being a light sleeper. Hell knew that it had taken hours of crying to exhaust herself enough to pass out again, but a single squeak from the door and Catra was wide awake, still lying on the kitchen floor.

Her hand gripped the handle of the butterfly knife, blade pointing at the door.

“What do you want?!” she snarled, voice gravelly and raw.

“Catra, it’s just me. It’s Scorpia.” 

The door opened a fraction more, revealing a white tuft of hair and black eyes, staring curiously at the brunette.

“Oh. I’m not in the mood for guests,” Catra grumbled, but Scorpia opened the door and let herself in, still carrying that softness from last night. 

“As much as I love spending time with you, this isn’t a social visit,” the larger woman stated once the door was closed behind her, walking closer and crossing her arms. “I’m here because you’ve been MIA since the party last night. When was the last time you had a shower? Or ate something?”

“Not hungry,” Catra huffed, the grumble from her stomach betraying her. Scorpia gave a heavy sigh.

“I’ll fix you something to eat, go take a shower,” she murmured, crouching down to help Catra sit up. “You smell like nicotine and fake strawberries.”

Catra didn’t have the energy to hide her wince. 

“No shower,” she whined under her breath, letting Scorpia scoop her up and set her on her feet. Chin to her chest, the smell from last night still stayed. She didn’t want it to leave.

“Why not?” Scorpia asked, trying to get into Catra’s line of sight, but the smaller woman had squeezed her eyes shut, keeping her shirt clutched to her nose and shaking her head. Any effort that Scorpia made to get through to her fell on deaf ears. Scorpia sighed, watching Catra closely.

“I can’t talk to you when you’re like this, wildcat,” she started. 

_ This is the part where you leave, isn’t it? _ Catra thought.  _ Just like Ado- Just like everyone else. _

“Let’s get some food into you, maybe some proper sleep too, get you feeling better before we talk, okay?”

Oh.

Catra opened her eyes, focusing on nothing in particular as Scorpia led her over to the ratty armchair in the corner of the room and gently pushed her to sit down.

“Are you cold? Do you want a blanket?” Catra must have nodded without realising, because Scorpia responded a moment later.

“Alright, hang tight, I’ll be right back.”    
  


Catra stared blankly ahead of her, not bothering to pay attention to her surroundings. It was Scorpia, and even with the amount of shit Catra gave her on a daily basis, she was still here and taking care of her. That had to mean something. Exhausted from being on edge all night, Catra felt her eyelids and her body sink into the chair. She heard a soft voice after a few moments, loud enough to hear but quiet enough not to startle her.

“It’s just me. I’m about to put the blanket on you, okay?”

Catra didn’t feel herself nod (if she even did), but she felt the warm, scratchy feeling of the woollen blanket slide up her legs and brush her torso before being nestled around her shoulders.

“Alright. I’m going to make you some food, okay? I’ll be right here if you need anything,” Scorpia told her before faint footsteps carried her away. 

  
  
_ You don’t deserve this, _ Catra thought.  _ Why is she even being so nice to you? 5 cigarettes say she’s gonna hold this against you when you need something. _

**You dickhead. Scorpia isn’t like that.**

_ Neither was Adora. Look how that turned out. _

**Stop. Stop thinking about her.**

_ Adora? The girl that you almost fucked in the bathroom last night? She would have charged your ass the second you got her one brain cell back. _

**She wanted it just as much as me.**

_ Yeah, because she was tipsy, idiot. _

**Adora was sober enough to remember it. She promised me she was.** **  
  
**

_ And since when has Adora had a good track record of keeping promises? _

**Stop it! Stop thinking about her!** **  
  
**

  
  


“I can hear you thinking from here, give your poor brain a break.” Scorpia (mercifully) broke the internal monologue, prompting Catra to open her eyes a fraction.  ~~ Her acquaintance? Colleague? Friend? ~~ She stood in the kitchen, opening a can of something and giving the brunette a soft smile.

“Food will be a while away; take a quick cat nap, I’ll make sure it’s warm for you when you wake up.”

Catra didn’t have the energy to argue, or point out that her lame cat jokes weren’t getting her extra brownie points. Instead, she gave a weak nod, letting her eyelids close and her body sink further into the armchair.

  
  
  


\---

When Catra reopened her eyes, the sky outside was shades of orange and red.

“Hey there, sleepyhead. Looks like you must have needed that rest, you slept the day away.”

Scorpia. Still in the kitchen, standing over the campstove on the bench and stirring a pot. She set down the wooden spoon, slowly pouring the contents into a bowl with steady hands before setting it down. 

“How’s the hangover?” she asked, carrying the bowl with the utmost care and taking slow steps towards Catra. Blinking a few times, Catra grew more aware of her surroundings, and the lack of hammering in her skull.

“Better,” she mumbled, crossing her legs under the blanket as Scorpia set the bowl and a spoon in her lap. “Thanks.”

“No problem! It’s the least I can do.”

Gods, how could Scorpia be so positive all the time? Even after Socs trying to smash her prosthetics and be assholes, Scorpia never bat an eye. She held her ground, gave them a piece of her mind, but she was never angry afterwards, and almost always went out of her way to make someone else’s day better.

  
  


“Still thinking, wildcat?”

Looking up, Catra saw that Scorpia had dragged over one of the kitchen chairs, armed with a cleaning cloth and a screwdriver and eyes fixed on her prosthetics.

“Yeah,” Catra mumbled, taking a sip of soup while she gathered her thoughts enough to say something. “Just wondering why you did all this.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Scorpia sounded more confused than anything. “You’re my friend, Catra. I want to be here for you when I can.”

Friend. Scorpia was her friend?   
  


“You’re crazy,” she sighed, taking another sip of the soup and feeling it warm her from the inside out.

“I mean, probably,” Scorpia started. “I’m crazy for working a hands on job with two prosthetic arms. I’m crazy for having a crush on a Soc I just met last night. I’m crazy for climbing out a window and down the side of a Brightmoon Academy building while tipsy. But wanting to be your friend? I don’t think that makes me crazy.”

  
  


Catra looked up, and found soft eyes and a soft smile. She felt her chest grow tight, her brain reminding her of times when she looked at a different pair of eyes and another smile. Ocean eyes and a lopsided smile.

“Guess crazy sticks together,” Catra mumbled, managing a ghost of a smile.

“I don’t think you’re crazy, wildcat!” Scorpia chuckled lightly, delving right back into cleaning down her left arm. “I think you have your moments, but you’re not crazy.”

“Moments like what?” 

  
  


Scorpia paused for a moment, clearly thinking. Catra brought the bowl to her lips and downed half of what was left, desperate to focus on anything else but what Scorpia could ask next.

“I don’t exactly know what happened last night, but it was strange for sure.”

There it was. Catra sighed, staring at the half empty bowl in her lap.

“Nothing happened,” she murmured. “Not like  _ that _ at least. We were drunk. We kissed. That’s it. People do that with randoms all the time.”

“I mean, yeah, and that’s totally okay! But, Adora isn’t just some random. You know her.” 

  
  


Catra squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block the image of her out of her mind. The image of her stupid smile, the sound of her stupid laugh, the way her stupid face lit up when Catra got her that jacket. The image of her still wearing that jacket a year later.

“I did.”

Scorpia went quiet for a moment.

“Catra, I think you know her more than anyone in the world.”

“I  _ knew _ her, Scorpia. There’s a big difference” she growled, grabbing the bowl from her lap and standing from the chair, stalking into the kitchen. “A lot can change in a year. Even if you’re right, so what if I know her? That doesn’t change the fact that she left me.”

_ She looked so happy last night. Was she ever that happy in the Fright Zone? Was she ever that happy with me? _

Eyes fixed on the bowl she was rinsing, she was startled by the sensation of cold rolling down her cheek, the taste of salt reaching her lips. 

  
  


“It sounds like you two were...close.” Scorpia chose her words carefully, placing the chair back in its spot. “What was she like when you knew her?”

  
  


Catra set the bowl down, looking through the kitchen window. If she squinted, she could almost see the building they grew up in.

“She was...bright,” she started in a soft voice. “Like the first bit of sunlight on your face when you wake up. Hard to miss, kinda in your face,” Catra chuckled at that. “But she was warm, and soft, and she was always there. No matter what shit was in my nightmares, she was always there in the morning. And it made everything okay again.

“I can see that,” Scorpia added. “Whenever I see her at practice, she always seems to light up the part of the field she’s on.”

Hearing that made Catra’s chest ache, but it wasn’t horrible. It was a bittersweet feeling, knowing that Adora hadn’t completely changed since she had left. 

  
  
  


“She used to drag me to the old pitch all the time. You know the one on Weaver Road?”

Scorpia tilted her head in thought. “With all the gangly looking trees? Man, that place creeped me out.”

Catra laughed once, the image filling her mind but deciding not to fight it this time.

“That’s the one! We used to climb right to the top of one of the trees, and she’d freak out if she bumped a branch on accident.”

_ “It felt like someone was grabbing me, Catra!” _

  
  
  


“Was she always so jumpy as a kid?” Scorpia asked, smiling when Catra turned to look at her. “Like, any kind of unexpected noise, and the girl jumps 3 feet in the air!”

Catra imagined Adora in her uniform, yelping in that way she always did, a sheepish grin on her face when she realised it was something stupid. She closed her eyes, and laughed. When was the last time she had laughed?

“She’s been like that since we were kids! She had this little squawk whenever she dropped something by accident,” Catra moved out into the open space of the apartment, letting herself wander without restraint. “And she used to throw punches when she was having a dream about something!”

“Like a nightmare?”

“Any dream! Adora can’t even relax when she’s asleep!” Catra managed through chuckles, remembering the bruises she had left on Catra whenever they shared a bed. 

  
  


“She never knew how hard she could hit. If she ever left a bruise, she’d feel so bad.”

A shiver ran up Catra’s spine, remembering Adora’s lips on her skin.

“She’d kiss every single one better.”

Scorpia was silent, and Catra could feel her watching curiously. But she never said a word, a silent gesture of giving Catra the floor, letting her say what she wanted, nothing more, nothing less.

  
  


“We were each other’s first kiss,” she mumbled, remembering the moment like it was yesterday. 13 years old, sitting on Catra’s bunk. Catra with a bruised jaw from a Soc that Adora kissed better. Ocean eyes bright and curious, hearts thumping in their chests. Not talking for a week afterwards. The ache in Catra’s chest was back, and she wished she still had some alcohol left over from last night.

“I think the only time I pictured a future for myself, it was with her,” Catra whispered.  _ It wasn’t living if it wasn’t with her. _

“Sounds crazy, but- These clothes? I wore them last night. And when Adora and I were- when we were in the bathroom, I-”

“They still smell like her,” Scorpia supplied.

Catra nodded silently.

“That’s what she always smelt like; strawberries and cigarettes. She never even smoked, she’d just steal my shirts as pyjamas and I could never get the smell out. She tried to get me to quit once, but it didn’t last long. But I cut down, and used less tobacco in them. That was our compromise.”

“You don’t even smoke that much.”

Catra gave a single chuckle, and a smile that was hardly there.

“Habit. Guess she’s still in my head, even when she’s not here.”

It was silent for a while, but not forever.

  
  


“You love her, don’t you?” Scorpia asked.

“She’s been my best friend my entire life,” Catra replied with a breath.

“That’s not what I meant, wildcat.”

  
  


Catra paused, eyes closing and hugging her arms to herself. She almost couldn’t put how she felt for Adora into words. She made her head lift into the clouds, and her heart drop into her stomach. The thought of her smile, her laugh, her  _ kiss _ , sent shocks up her body. Being around Adora made every colour a little brighter, every ray of sun a little warmer, every injury hurt a little less. Oh no.

  
“I do. I think I’ve loved her for a long time.”

Catra could hear Scorpia slowly approach, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Every time I think she doesn’t have a hold on me anymore, I see something, or hear something, and immediately I think about her. And there’s no point, because I can’t have her. But I want her so goddamn badly, and I can never get enough of her, and I  _ love  _ her and-”

Catra felt herself be pulled into the warm, soft embrace of her friend. With Scorpia’s chin on top of her head and strong arms around her shoulders, Catra squeezed her torso and sobbed into her chest, ears flat against her scalp.

“It’s okay, wildcat. We’re gonna figure this out.”

Catra didn’t have the energy to stop crying long enough to reply.

She was in love with Adora Grayskull. Her childhood companion, her best friend, her rival. Adora.

_ What am I gonna do? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos and comment if you enjoyed (or even if you didn't let me know what you thought)! chapter 3 coming soon!


	3. ocean eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (hey Erika u gay)
> 
> TW; slight mention of blood and assault. nothing super intense but I would rather everyone be safe
> 
> chapter was inspired by ocean eyes - Billie Eilish (blackbear remix).

“Best Friend Squad sleepover night!”

Adora’s train of thought came to a grinding halt, a pillow hitting the back of her head with more force than she was expecting.

Yelping, she turned around to see Glimmer with a smug grin, pillow in hand.

“C’mon Adora, you’ve been down in the dumps all day! Surely a hangover doesn’t last  _ that _ long,” Glimmer teased, throwing the pillow aside.

“Hangover. Right,” Adora mumbled, trying to focus on the present. “Some party, huh?"

“Right? I’m surprised Campus Security was okay with the whole thing, well, as much as they could be,” Bow mused from the couch, turning to look at his girlfriend. “Did you pull some strings or something, hon?”

“I did not!” Glimmer defended, sounding almost offended, but her smile gave her away. “Can you imagine what my mother would say if I told her we were throwing a party?”

  
  


What a party it was. Adora didn’t know how she felt knowing she remembered everything that happened last night. The party felt like an entire world away, but Adora still found herself reaching for it, clinging to the memories that swirled in her mind. The feeling of her heart in her throat as she dove into the unknown. The feeling of her back pressed to the door, of Catra’s lips pressed to her neck, of her hands gripping Adora's hips whenever she moaned Catra's name.

“You’re blushing, Adora.”

Adora snapped up, seeing her two friends watching her, Glimmer with a teasing grin, and Bow with evident curiosity.

  
  


“What’s innocent little Adora thinking about?~” Glimmer teased, moving over to poke Adora in the ribs. Hitting a sensitive spot, Adora immediately jolted away. Smirking, Glimmer began to poke in and around the same area, lightly flicking her fingers along Adora’s sides

“Hey! What gives?” Adora responded, bringing her knees to her chest to avoid the hands tickling her, but it made no difference. A shriek leaving her lips, Adora closed her eyes and stopped fighting the laughter trying to escape, her body twisting and turning away.

“C’mon, Adora! Tell me what you were thinking about!”

“Stop it!” Adora managed through the laughter, trying to pry the hands away. “Catra, stop!”

The hands immediately stopped.

  
  


Adora opened her eyes, and saw Glimmer’s room at Brightmoon Academy. Great.

“Well, I guess that answers your question,” Bow murmured, standing up from the couch and slowly walking over to the two girls.

“I-” Adora started, panic setting in. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” Glimmer mumbled, watching the blonde closely. “Adora, you don’t have to apologise! You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“But-”

“No ‘but’s!” A finger was pressed to Adora’s mouth, Glimmer giving her a reassuring smile. “There’s nothing to apologise for. If anything, Bow and I are kind of worried about you.”

“Worried?” the blonde asked as Glimmer moved her hand away. “Why would you be worried? I’m fine.”

“Adora, you’ve been acting weird since Campus Security showed up at the party last night,” Bow started, sitting on the bed next to Adora. "And even before that, when Scorpia showed up, you disappeared from the party all together."

  
  


Adora sighed, looking down at her hands and fiddling with the sleeves of her jacket.

“It wasn’t Scorpia,” Adora started, looking at the cigarette marks on her sleeves. “It was Catra. The one that came with her.”

  
  


Bow and Glimmer cast a look to each other, Glimmer sitting on the other side of the blonde. In tandem, the two wrapped one arm around Adora, slotting themselves against her.

“You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to,” Bow hummed, watching Adora’s face closely as Glimmer put her head on her shoulder. “But if there’s anything you need to get off your chest, we’re more than happy to listen.”

Adora could feel Glimmer nod against her shoulder, a comforting hand on her knee, but all Adora could see was the burns on her jacket sleeves.

  
  


“She was my best friend,” she breathed. “We grew up together. It was always the two of us against the world. She’d look out for me, and I’d look out for her, and as long as we had each other, all the bad things that happened to us weren’t that bad.”

“What happened then?” Glimmer asked softly. Adora gave a single laugh.

“I got accepted into Brightmoon Academy.”

The trio fell into a silence, Glimmer and Bow moving closer to the blonde, trying to stop the pain that was eating Adora from the inside out.

  
  


"I didn't think I was going to get in," Adora finally mumbled. "Neither of us did. Catra was always teasing me about how I was born for something better than the east side of town. I applied as a joke. But then I actually got in, and I thought I could make something better of myself. Make a better life for the both of us. Get us out of the shit side of town, and start all over again.”

“Then why was getting accepted into Brightmoon a bad thing?” Bow asked.

Adora sighed, hugging her arms to her chest. “When I got in, I told Catra I was thinking about taking the offer. We fought and it was...bad. Really bad.”

_ “Are you seriously going to throw away everything that we’ve been through? Throw  _ **_us_ ** _ away? For a stupid school?! They’re Socs! The same ones that have beaten us down our whole lives, and now suddenly you wanna be one of them?!” _

The memory of Catra’s tearful glare made her stomach drop.

“When I took the offer, I told her that nothing had to change. But she didn’t want that anymore. Didn’t want  _ me _ ,” Adora whimpered.

  
  


Bow and Glimmer looked at one another, wrapping both of their arms around Adora and holding her tight.

“It sounds like you two were really close,” Glimmer breathed. “I’m so sorry, Adora.”

“It’s not your fault,” the blonde mumbled, squeezing her eyes shut.

“That was the first time you’d seen her since then?” Bow asked gently, and Adora could only nod.

“And that’s why you disappeared,” Glimmer supplied, receiving another nod. “Did you two fight again?”

Adora let out a light scoff, shaking her head. She moved one hand to her collarbone, pushing aside the fabric to reveal a splotchy red mark on the skin.

Bow’s eyes were wide with panic. “Adora, did she-” 

“No. No,  _ Gods _ no. Catra isn’t like that,” she butt in. “She wouldn’t have done anything if I didn’t want it. We didn’t do much more than kiss but-”

Adora huffed, cheeks red and tongue tied from her own frustration. 

  
  
  


“Is Catra your ex?” Glimmer asked, eyebrows raising in surprise when Adora shook her head.

“We’ve never dated,” Adora admitted. “But we’ve kissed. Touched. I wanted to give myself to her when I was ready, because she was the only person I’d feel safe doing that with. But we were kids. Kids experiment with their friends all the time. Friends was all we were.”

It sounded so strange to hear it out loud, even from her own lips. It was strange to only call her a friend, remembering the night they kissed for the first time. Strange remembering the times Adora had straddled her lap and held her close, giggling at the feather light kisses Catra would leave on her collar. How they never went further than kissing because Adora wasn't ready.

_ "I'll wait for you then, dummy,"  _ Catra had told her.  _ "As if I wouldn't wait for you." _

  
  


“You must...really care about her,” Bow murmured, unsure of his answer. Glimmer mirrored his look, but Adora made no effort to correct him.

  
  


Instead, Adora found herself smiling, even as her eyes began to water. 

“Yeah, I do.”

“What was she like? When you two were younger?” Glimmer asked.

“She was...wild," Adora started after a while. "Like getting stuck in a storm. It’s kind of a shock going from sunlight to rain in a split second, and other people tend to run for cover. But being around her was like a breath of fresh air, and I could dance in the rain and wash away what everyone thought of me.”

“What do you mean?” Bow breathed, not wanting to shatter the moment.

Adora’s smile turned sad, her glassy eyes closing.

“My whole life, I was raised to think that how much I was worth was based on what I could do,” she admitted. “If I couldn’t help someone, or do something, I was just taking up space. I needed to do my best, then do even better, just to be counted on the same level as everyone else. Most of the time, even my best wasn’t good enough for the people I was trying to please. But with Catra, I didn’t have to be  _ anything _ . I didn’t have to try. I could just be Adora, and somehow that was enough.”

Adora had tried to wipe Catra from her mind after she started at the Academy. So many of the memories haunted her, right down to waking up alone in her bed every morning. But so many of them were happy. When they spent their afternoons at the baseball pitch on Weaver Road, climbing the gangly trees that surrounded it. Catra would always race her to the top.

When they snuck into the kitchens of the foster agency, and the plan of cooking a midnight snack became a food fight when Catra found the flour.

When Catra gave Adora the jacket that quickly became her favourite for her birthday. She was so happy that she didn’t mind when Catra’s cigarette accidentally burnt a circle on the sleeve. 

_ “It’ll remind me of you,” _ Adora had said then, and that still rung true.

She couldn’t even forget when Catra patched Adora up after a Soc acquainted his switchblade with her thigh. He only managed to get one hit on Catra’s jaw before she knocked him out cold. They sat together on Catra’s bunk that night, Adora’s leg cleaned and dressed and Catra keeping a bag of frozen peas pressed to where the bruise had started to form. Adora kissed the bruise softly.

_ “You missed,” _ Catra had whispered, before their lips met for the first time.

Adora still had the scar, both on her thigh and in her heart.

  
  
  


“So what happened last night? Aside from, y’know, what you’ve already told us,” Glimmer asked, a dusting of pink on her cheeks.

Adora opened her eyes, staring at nothing at particular, and fiddling with her jacket sleeves.

“She was going to get in trouble for being on Campus after curfew, especially since we’d been drinking. Security would take our side, blame her and Scorpia for sneaking alcohol in, and they’d take the fall. I wasn’t going to let that happen to her.”

Glimmer and Bow exchanged a look, eyebrows raised, but neither said anything, still listening attentively to Adora.

“So, I snuck them out. They climbed out the bathroom window, I got to Security and distracted them so they wouldn’t get caught. I took the blame so that they wouldn’t have to.”

  
  


“Okay, your self sacrificial tendencies aside for now,” Bow started, slowly untangling himself from around Adora and standing up to face her. 

“Adora, from everything that you’re saying, it sounds like you love Catra. As more than a friend.” 

The room fell silent.

  
  


Adora stared at something miles away. She felt her heart in her throat, and her hands still, clutching the sleeves of the jacket Catra had given her all those years ago. Her mind drowned in every smile, every glance, every touch that she had shared with her. Every time her name had fallen off Catra’s lips, as a laugh, a moan, a cry, and how her favourite was Catra’s simple whisper every morning they woke up together.

_ “Hey, Adora.” _

She remembered the last moments she saw Catra, both of them tipsy in a dormitory bathroom before Catra disappeared into the night. The last kiss they shared, the softness of it making Adora’s heart ache in a way it never had before.

_ “We’ll talk about this later, okay?” _ Adora had told her. She had already broken too many promises to Catra. But she wouldn’t break this one.

  
  
  


“Adora?” 

Her vision coming back into focus, she saw Bow and Glimmer kneeling in front of her, two pairs of concerned eyes watching her closely. Glimmer reached up to cup Adora’s cheek, her thumb wiping away a tear. When did Adora start crying?

“Are you alright?” Glimmer whispered, still holding her cheek. Adora shook her head.

“I need to tell her,” the blonde murmured. “I promised her, I promised her we’d talk, and it’s been so long, but I need to tell her I-”

“Adora, slow down, what are you talking about?” 

“I need to go, I’ll be back later tonight, I promise,” Adora told them, standing haphazardly from the bed and sprinting out of the room.

“Adora wait!” sounded from behind her, but she made no mind. Bolting down the hallway and down the staircase, she dug through her pocket and pulled out her phone. Thanking her past self for not deleting the contact, she pressed the button and typed a message with trembling fingers before hitting send.

  
  


[Message to: Catra]  _ meet me at our place. I’m sorry it took so long. _

  
  


_ Read 5:23pm. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this chapter! don't worry, the happy ending will be here soon ;) yell at me on tumblr if you wanna request a fic!
> 
> https://beeeeetle.tumblr.com/


	4. ribs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora looked up, eyes scanning her surroundings for any sign of anyone. With the dark starting to creep in around her, even if there was someone nearby it was hard to tell.
> 
> "Catra?"
> 
> Only silence replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspired by Ribs by Lorde!
> 
> TW; brief mention of a past assault, nothing graphic is described
> 
> enjoy! x
> 
> (erika, knock knock)

Adora always joked that she could find her way to their spot from anywhere, even if she lost all her senses. But she surprised herself when she managed to do just that. She didn’t remember when she started crying, but she found herself unable to stop as her feet carried her forward on their own accord. The sounds around her faded into white noise. The ache of her muscles didn’t matter, all that Adora knew what she needed to keep going until she reached Weaver Road.

  
  


Their tree was still there. The one with the knots and bumps in the trunk that looked like a mask from far away. The one where Catra and Adora spent every afternoon after school. This spot was theirs, and these memories floating in Adora’s head weren’t just hers, they were Catra’s too. She only hoped she could say the same for the aching in her chest.

Adora wiped her eyes, reaching the trunk of the tree and peering up into the branches. No sign of Catra. She wasn’t here yet. Maybe she was still on her way? 

Adora sat at the base of the tree, leaning her back against the trunk. Catra was never the most punctual, might as well get comfortable. She let her head roll back, staring at the late afternoon sunlight filtering through the leaves and feeling the warmth on her skin. Adora had no idea what would happen next.

Maybe she wouldn’t show up. Maybe she doesn’t feel the same way.

_ There’s nothing I can do now, _ Adora thought.  _ I just need to tell her before it eats me alive. _

And so the waiting game began.

  
  


The sunset sky was slowly devoured by gray clouds, and Adora lost all concept of time when neither the sun, the moon or the stars were visible. But Catra wasn’t here yet, so she stayed.

“Come on, Catra,” she mumbled to herself, taking her phone out of her jacket phone and lighting up the screen.

_ 8:13pm _ .

_ 5 messages from Bow :D _

_ 27 messages from ~*Glimmer*~ _

_ 4 missed calls from ~*Glimmer*~ _

Nothing from Catra. She refreshed the message, double checking she still had a signal.

Still nothing.

Adora looked up, eyes scanning her surroundings for any sign of anyone. With the dark starting to creep in around her, even if there was someone nearby it was hard to tell.

"Catra?"

Only silence replied.

Sighing, she sat back down with her back against the tree, typing a reply to Glimmer.

  
  


[Message to: ~*Glimmer*~] 

_ i’m safe, at the pitch on weaver road. _

**_[ Message from: ~*Glimmer*~]_ **

**_OH THANK GOD YOU’RE ALIVE_ **

**_[ Message from: ~*Glimmer*~]_ **

**_What’s going on? All we could hear was that you had to tell someone something?_ **

[Message to: ~*Glimmer*~]

_ you heard right. I have to tell Catra something important _

**_[ Message from: ~*Glimmer*~]_ **

**_pls pls PLS be safe okay? Text me if you need back up_ **

[Message to: ~*Glimmer*~]

_ i will. got my switchblade so it should be good. cya later tonight _

  
  
  


Locking her phone, she slipped it back into her pocket as the waiting game resumed. The clouds were getting darker. The only light that Adora could see was the streetlight a few metres away, and she knew from experience that the light had a tendency to flicker, if it didn’t stop working all together. 

But Catra would be here soon, right?

  
  


\---

The first drop made Adora’s heart jump into her throat. No longer drifting to sleep, she shot up off the ground, switchblade in hand and waiting. It was just rain. When had it even started raining? What time was it?

Shakily exhaling, Adora closed her blade and stowed it in her jacket pocket, mumbling how old habits die hard as she pulled out her phone to check the time. 

_ 11:03pm _ .

Was it really that late? Adora stared at her phone screen, burning the numbers into her brain until she had no choice but to accept the truth.

Catra wasn’t coming.

  
  


Adora made no effort to get out of the rain, even when the drops felt like bullets and the sky rumbled above her, half a warning and half a threat.

She closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath.

She had to let go.

Adora had finally gotten the closure she needed. She had reached out, wanting to talk to Catra, wanting to tell her everything that had been on her mind in the hours, days, months they had been apart. But Catra didn’t want that. Not anymore. As the words circled around her head and drowned her thoughts, Adora felt her heart begin to fall apart, piece by piece, the hope holding it together no longer there.

  
  


“Adora!”

Concrete eyes managed to open, heart jumping as she saw a figure.

  
  


Bicolour eyes were wide and unrelenting, and Adora could almost smell her leather jacket from here. She was here. Soaking wet, out of breath and tail between her legs, but she was here.

  
  


“You’re here,” Adora breathed, barely audible above the rain. “You came.”

Catra’s signature smirk was swapped for a small,  _ sweet _ smile.

“And you’re still an idiot.”

  
  


Adora didn’t bother fighting the smile that crept up.

“What are you doing standing in the rain? You’re gonna catch your death, even with your immune system,” Catra mused, walking closer.

“I was waiting for you.”

Almost close enough to touch, Adora saw Catra’s eyes widen in something akin to shock before they softened.

“You are such an idiot,” she breathed, shaking her head with a light smile, which faded after a moment. “I’m s- I’m sorry it took so long. To get here.”

“I thought you weren’t going to,” Adora admitted, staring at the pin on Catra’s jacket, unable to look into her eyes with the way her heart and stomach kept switching places. “I mean, I sent it hours ago. You  _ read _ it hours ago. I thought that you-”

  
  


“I know, I had my phone open on your contact because I was  _ going _ to text you, but I couldn’t get my words right,” Catra started, Adora’s heart leaping as she took a few steps closer. “And I freaked out, and just left my phone there, open on your contact so when your text came in it didn’t make a sound, and I didn’t check it until now and I got here as fast as I could and-”

  
  


“Catra, slow down,” Adora hushed, her hand darting to grab Catra’s before she had a chance to fight the urge. She slowly looked up, seeing those eyes looking straight through her and sending a shiver down her spine.

“I’m sorry too,” the blonde mumbled. “For-...for everything.”

Catra took her hand back. Her eyes were furrowed shut, the way they did when Catra was fighting a war against herself. Every instinct that Adora had screamed at her to cry out to Catra, to beg her not to push her away. Her eyes opened, and the softness had vanished.

“It’s a little late for apologies, don’t you think?”

The steel in her voice was back, and Adora’s mind couldn’t help but to another night like this, a year ago with Adora’s bag packed and letter in hand.

  
  


“Catra, I didn’t want anything to change when I left,” she murmured.

The brunette let out a single laugh, tearing her gaze away from the blonde, tail between her legs and ears folded back.

“How was anything ever going to stay the same?” Catra growled. “You think you can throw away everything that we went through together, and expect that things are going to be the same?! Adora, you left to become a Soc! To play ball with the same people that cut your leg open, that almost fractured my jaw, and you think I’m going to be okay with that?!”

“I didn’t do  _ any _ of this because I wanted to be a Soc! I never wanted to be one, I’m still not one!” Adora retaliated. “I had a chance to get out of the Fright Zone, to actually make something of myself, how stupid would I be to say no to that?!”

“So you left me behind to get yourself out? Adora, do you have any idea how selfish you sound right now?”

Adora stopped for a moment, taking a moment to look at Catra. Last time she was fully of fury, of spite, of anger, of  _ hate. _ Now, it seemed different. Her walls were still 3 stories high but they were starting to crack. Her eyes, her frame, her voice was all softer. Almost like a plea.

“You could have come with me,” she breathed. “I  _ wanted _ you there with me, Catra. I could have found you a job close by, or even at the academy, I didn’t do this to get away from you!”

“But it was all too easy, wasn’t it, Adora?”

Her voice was a snarl, eyes narrowed and hands in fists at her sides.

“Leaving me behind was the easiest thing you’ve ever done, wasn’t it? You walked out that door and  _ never _ looked back. You were too caught up in your new, sparkly, perfect world with your new best friends, and I bet you’ve hated me from that moment on!”

“I’ve  _ never _ hated you!”

Adora hadn’t meant to be so loud, and the silence that followed it was deafening. The aching in her chest was starting to constrict her, but as much as she needed to breathe, she needed to tell Catra the truth more.

“I thought about you. Every second we were apart, I thought about you. Scorpia let slip that she knew you, and I’d ask about you every time I saw her, I made her  _ swear _ that she wouldn’t tell you, because I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore!”

It was Catra’s turn to be silent.

“You did?” she mumbled eventually. Catra felt herself soften, seeing Adora nod with stormy eyes. “But, why?”

“Because it’s  _ you _ , Catra. It’s always been you.”

  
  


Catra’s words left her, her fists unclenching as her eyes searched Adora’s for any trace of deceit. There was none. Her blue gray eyes were wide, and glassy and as soft as she remembered them. Her frame was open and unfolding, and Catra was almost overwhelmed by all the honesty. She tore her eyes away, hugging her arms to her chest and shivering at the rain running down her back.

“Just not in the way that I want, huh?” she breathed.

“Catra, what are you talking about? I-”

“I’m in love with you, Adora!”

Catra made the mistake of looking straight at Adora when she said that. Her eyes were wide with shock, and Catra could make out the tremblings of Adora’s hands. Even with her hair pulled out and soaked down with the rain, bags under her eyes and tears in her eyes, Catra was in awe of how  _ beautiful _ she was. Adora’s mouth opened and closed, but Catra couldn’t bear the rejection, jumping into a ramble to fill the silence.

“I’m in love with you, idiot,” she breathed, unable to tear her eyes away from Adora. The girl she had grown up with, the girl she had pretended to hate, the girl she  _ loved _ . “I’ve been in love with you since before I knew what the word meant. Even after everything that happened, after every fight and every day we spent apart, I couldn’t stop because I  _ love _ you. I always have. But you’re never gonna love me back, so what’s the use? I couldn’t just-”

The energy had seeped back into Adora’s bones, the blonde taking three steps to close the gap, her hands hurriedly clutching Catra’s jacket and pulling her in as their lips collided.

The softness of it made Catra’s eyes water, hands falling into their place on Adora’s hips and pulling her close. Adora’s hands cradled her cheeks, and her tail moved to wrap around the blonde’s leg, a plea not to leave, to stay. When their lungs began to scream, Adora pulled away and Catra fought the urge not to whine. But when she opened her eyes, Adora was smiling. She was smiling bigger than she had seen in a long time.

“I love you too,” she whispered, her smile only growing softer. “I’m in love with you, and I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I was scared, and I-”

“Shhh,” Catra soothed, wrapping her arms around Adora’s waist and pulling her strong body flush against her own. “It’s okay, we’re here now,” she murmured, burying her face into Adora’s collar as the blonde’s arms snaked around her shoulders. Catra's hands ran up and down Adora's side, keeping the blonde's warmth close to her, her soul wanting nothing more than to escape her chest just to be closer to Adora. 

Time passed, whether it was seconds, minutes or hours, neither of them knew. Adora finally pulled away, just far enough to rest her forehead on Catra’s and look into her eyes, coaxing a small smile from both of them.

“We have a lot to talk about, don’t we?” the blonde mumbled, and in spite of everything, Catra found herself laughing under her breath.

“Yeah, I guess we do,” she hummed, unable to help herself from just looking at Adora, imprinting the memory into her mind. “And we will, I promise. But right now, I want to get us out of the rain and these wet clothes, and just be with you.”

  
  


Adora’s smile sent Catra’s heart fluttering, the blonde biting back a giggle. 

“Seductive as ever, huh Catra?” she teased. When Catra’s only response was a series of fumbled stutters, Adora only laughed harder.

“I didn’t mean it like that, you idiot!” Catra protested, lightly shoving Adora out of their embrace, but not fighting the smile when the blonde came wandering right back, taking her hand and intertwining their fingers.

Catra and Adora had always held hands when they were young, a method to stay together in big crowds or know that the other was right behind them when they were getting chased down by Socs. Even after a year of not doing it, Catra was left breathless at how  _ right _ the simple gesture felt.

“I know you didn’t,” Adora hummed, pressing a feather light kiss to Catra’s forehead. “But if you-” she shook her head, giving a sheepish smile. “We’ll add it to the list of the things to talk about. But first, we really should get out of the rain.”

Catra gave her signature smirk, and Adora could see the chaos running through her mind.

“You up for sneaking me into Brightmoon?”

Adora beamed at her, returning a similar smirk and Catra’s heart did flips.

“Absolutely. And I’ll even let you steal the hot water, like a true rebel.”

Catra was still laughing when she pulled Adora in, their lips melding together. Kissing her was just so easy, and Adora tasted so much sweeter to Catra knowing that she loved her back. Her hands gripped Adora’s hips on their own accord, swallowing the gasp that left the blonde’s lips and kissing her deeper, moaning as Adora’s hands tangled themselves in Catra’s mane. 

“ _ Catra, _ ” she gasped against her lips, and Catra’s entire body was on fire. Every instinct was screaming for her to slide her hands under Adora’s shirt, feel her skin, to bite her, kiss her, make Adora  _ hers _ . She pulled away from Adora, chest heaving.

_ Not until she’s ready. I told her I’d wait forever for her, and that hasn’t changed now I know she feels the same. Just gotta keep it in my pants. _

Adora’s lips were swollen with a small smirk, her blue-gray almost swallowed her the black of her pupils. She knew  _ exactly _ what she was doing to Catra.

“Brightmoon?” the blonde hummed, bordering on a purr. Catra rolled her eyes, reigning in self control long enough to give her a short, sweet kiss.

“C’mon dummy.”

Their hands were intertwined as they ran down Crimson Way towards Brightmoon, and Catra would give anything to live in that moment forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter will be up soon! please leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed x
> 
> (it's me, you're gay)


	5. best years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re such a sap,” Catra hummed. I love you, she meant.
> 
> “Don’t act like you don’t like it.” I love you too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter inspired by best years by 5sos
> 
> this is just 4000 words worth of smut. pls forgive me. enjoy.
> 
> massive thanks for @scarletpiano13 for being my beta!
> 
> (hey, erika. 8 days x)

Catra and Adora hadn’t stopped touching since they had left Weaver Road. Whether it was their hands intertwined, standing close enough for their legs to brush against the other’s, an arm around a waist, they didn’t care. They both needed the touch, craved it. A reminder that what had happened minutes prior wasn’t a rain fueled fever dream. It was real.

Catra couldn’t stop staring at Adora, not that it was anything new, but it felt so different. Looking at her didn’t fill her chest with the sense of guilt it usually did, her stomach turning for looking at her best friend in that way. Now, seeing her brought warmth. It warmed her from the outside out, her heart rising and her stomach doing flips. Adora loved her. She  _ loves _ her, wants to be with her.

“What are you looking at?”

They were in the bathroom, Adora holding to her promise of letting Catra steal the hot water. 

_ We should probably shower together. Y’know, to avoid suspicion, _ Adora had suggested. It wasn’t the first time. It would be the only way to get Catra to bathe when they were children, and even as they grew up and their figures changed, they would find themselves showering together more often than not. When one of them had an injury that they couldn’t reach, if they couldn’t clean themselves after a lost fight, or even just a bad day. To have it again gave Catra whiplash.

The shower was already running to let the water warm up, Adora already down to her underwear while Catra hadn’t even started undressing, eyes too focused on the woman before her to think about anything else. The defined muscles of her back and shoulders, covered by the fabric of her bra and dirty blonde locks. The line tracing down the perfect curve of her spine. The faint stretch marks decorating her strong thighs. The single white line running down the side her left one, the start hidden by her underwear and stopping just above her knee. Catra felt a shiver at the memory.

“Catra?”

Bicolour eyes snapped up, falling on Adora’s face watching her with obvious concern. Words failing, Catra quickly rid herself of her jacket, shirt and jeans. Clad only in her underwear, she walked closer to the blonde, hands reaching for Adora’s hips and feeling them fit perfectly under her palms. Silently, Catra wound her arms around her waist and buried her face in Adora’s collar.

“Are you alright?” Adora breathed, one hand cradling the back of Catra’s head as her free arm was slung around her shoulders. Shaking her head against the blonde’s collar, Catra let out a shaky exhale. One arm released Adora’s waist, moving to her left hip, fingertips lightly trailing up and down the length of the thin scar. A constant reminder of Catra’s failures to the woman she loved.

“I broke our promise,” she mumbled against the skin. Two hands cupped Catra’s cheeks, lifting her head out of its burrow to rest her forehead against Adora’s.

“We both did,” the blonde mumbled.

“ _ No _ ,” Catra breathed, looking straight into Adora’s eyes and searching for strength in the calm blue-gray. After a moment, she found it and spoke. “I was so angry, for such a long time. I was angry that you’d broken our promise. That you wouldn’t be there for me anymore. But you didn’t mean to, you never did, you were still trying to be there for me when you left, and I just kept pushing you away and then I was mad that you weren’t there and- fuck, I’m so  _ sorry _ Adora I-”

“Catra, shh, you’re spiralling,” she breathed, wrapping Catra in her strong embrace and holding her close. Catra felt herself melt into Adora’s arms, her heart settling down as Adora mumbled into her hair. 

“It’s alright. We can’t change what’s already happened. But we’re here now, and we get to decide what comes next.”

Catra burrowed her face into the crook of her neck, pressing a soft kiss to the skin.

“I’m not letting you go. Never again,” she breathed. “I think loving you is the only good thing I’ve ever done. And I want to keep doing it.”

Adora pressed a kiss to the top of her head, hands trailing up and down Catra’s spine.

“You could love me for the rest of your life, and I’d still find you in the next one to love you again.”

Catra cracked a smile, letting out a short chuckle before lifting her head to look at Adora.

“God, have you always been this sappy?”

“Shut up,” Adora giggled, giving her a light shove. “C’mon, water’s warm.”

\---

Adora thanked whatever was in the heavens that her roommate was gone for that night. Don’t get her wrong, Perfuma was nice. Maybe a little too optimistic and saged their room a little too often, but they never argued. But she was not going to say no to a night alone with Catra.

Showering together was a bittersweet reminder of how much had changed in the year they were apart. Catra’s figured was leaner, stronger, the shape of her familiar but with more scars than she remembered. Adora wondered how many of them she could have prevented.

  
  


“Hey, where’d you go?”

Catra lay on her side, curled up under blankets and watching Adora closely. She had to admit, Catra looked gorgeous in her shirt, even when she was watching her with soft eyes, the way she did when she was worried about something, the way she only did with Adora.

"Hmm? I'm okay," she responded, realising too late that she had heard the question wrong. "I'm here, just thinking."

Catra exhaled, reaching out and cupping Adora’s cheek, smiling as the blonde leaned into her palm.

“What are you thinking about? Because if you’re beating yourself up about something, I’ll kick your ass.”

Unable to stop her chuckle from escaping, Adora shuffled closer, slinging an arm over Catra’s stomach.

“Just how different all of this is, I guess,” she breathed. “I’ve thought about this, wondering what it would be like, but I never thought I- I didn’t think I’d be able to have any of it. I never thought you’d feel the same way.”

Catra’s entire face softened, and Adora could feel her heart trying to escape through her chest.

“You’re such an idiot,” she whispered, blue and gold staring into Adora’s soul, prying it open and picking out every trace of anxiety inside. “I wasn’t exactly subtle about it, you know.”

Adora groaned, burying her face in her pillow, her stomach fluttering as she heard Catra almost squeaking from laughter.

“You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed.”

Catra’s breath tickled the shell of Adora’s ear, a shiver shooting down her spine. Peeking out from the pillow, Adora saw Catra beaming down at her, one hand still cradling her cheek while her free arm propped her up by the elbow. Seeing those mismatched eyes staring into hers, then flick down, Adora smirked. A hand moving to the nape of Catra’s neck, Adora pulled her down and crashed their lips together. 

It had started slow, moving together in tandem, only soft sighs escaping their lips and hands staying on hips and on shoulders, in places that were familiar. But as they pulled away to catch their breath, something changed.

For every fantasy Catra had ever imagined about her best friend, none of them could hold a candle to the sight of Adora underneath her catching her breath, blonde hair strewn over the pillow and pupils blown wide. Her lips curled up in a smirk at the sight.

Adora broke the gaze, looking down at something before flicking up a second later.

“What are you-”

Before Catra had time to react, she was flat on her back. Adora’s thighs straddled her own, her hands either side of Catra’s head with blue gray eyes staring intensely into her own.

Okay, scratch that last statement. Every daydream, every late night thought, even the vision of Adora pinned beneath her, none of it even came  _ close _ to this. Adora, hips flush against Catra's, keeping her pinned to the bed with wheat blonde hair falling around her face and lips slightly parted as her chest heaved, staring down at her with hungry eyes.

“Much better,” Adora hummed, and Catra wanted nothing more than to kiss that smug grin off of her face. So she did.

  
  


The feeling of Catra’s lips on hers drove Adora wild, the chronically polite blonde feeling herself lose control. The kiss grew deeper, trying to breathe the oxygen from the other’s lungs. Adora shifted her weight back on to her hips to let her hands trail down Catra’s sides, humming as she felt Catra’s fingers weave into her hair. Fingertips brushed along her bare skin under the shirt, and Catra’s moan was  _ unholy _ .

Adora pulled away, and Catra whined without permission. They froze, two sets of eyes staring intently at one another, a silent question and answer hovering in their breaths, neither wanting to be the first to ask.

“Catra,” Adora whispered, pressing her forehead to Catra’s, the magicat’s stomach doing flips as the blonde’s fingers toyed with the shirt hem.

“I want- I-” Adora swallowed, trying to find her words but coming up empty. Catra moved her hands from the blonde’s hair to cradle her cheeks, smiling as she watched the girl she loved soften under her touch.

“Hey, it’s alright,” she mumbled, giving her a soft peck. “I told you I’d wait and I meant it. There’s no pressure, we can stop-”

“ _ No _ ,” Adora breathed, unable to tear her eyes away from Catra. “I want this. I want  _ you. _ ”

  
  


Catra’s breath hitched just hearing that, heart racing as Adora’s hands settled on her waist, a faint thrum of disappointment at the layer of her shirt in the way.

“I want you,” Adora started again, voice barely above a whisper, the words meant for Catra and Catra only. “But if you’re not ready, or you want to wait, or even if you just don’t want to do it tonight, then we won’t-”

Adora was hushed by a soft kiss, and Catra had found her favourite way of shutting Adora up.

“Adora, you’re super sweet,” Catra whispered, pulling away as Adora chased her for a kiss so she could keep talking. “I want you too, dummy. I’ve wanted you for a long time, I just knew that you weren’t ready so I didn’t do anything.”

Adora beamed at her, and Catra let her capture her lips without a second complaint.

“I’m ready now,” she breathed against her lips, as their next kiss set their systems on fire. 

  
  


Tongues danced together as hands gripped at one another, desperate for any form of touch they could get, both of them wanting, begging,  _ needing _ to be closer. With Adora’s fingers playing with the hem of her t-shirt, the magicat wound her hands into blonde locks and pulled. The action tore Adora away from her lips with the prettiest whimper Catra had ever heard. By the Gods, Catra was in love. Dissatisfaction was evident in Adora’s eyes, the blonde attaching her lips to her jaw. She began leaving hot, wet kisses along every inch of Catra’s neck, the soft moans it received only egging Adora on as she lightly dragged her teeth along the soft skin.

“Adora, I swear if you don’t take my shirt off and touch me already, I’ll do it myself and make you watch.” It had meant to be a threat. Maybe it would have been, if Catra hadn’t sounded so desperate.

As the blonde pulled back, Catra watched Adora’s lips form a smug smirk, stoking the fire between her thighs. Her eyes were playful, teasing, but underneath was a layer of care. A want, a need, to please Catra, to  _ serve _ her.

“As you wish,” Adora breathed, and for the brief second Catra didn’t feel her touch, her heart dropped at the thought of actually having to do this herself while Adora watched. Not that it wasn’t a nice thought. All of Catra’s fears were crushed as Adora took the hem of her shirt, lifting it up and over her torso, leaving her bare before the blonde. It wasn’t anything new to Adora. The same shirtless torso she had seen as teenagers, littered with nicks and old scars, the fur shorter in some parts and longer in others, breasts rising and falling as her chest heaved. Adora was beaming.

Quickly ridding herself of her own shirt, Adora closed the gap between them, sharing a gasp at the touch of bare skin.

  
  


“You’re so beautiful,” she breathed, continuing her worship of Catra’s neck and collarbone. Her heart leapt at the soft whimpers, followed by a familiar soft laugh as she felt Catra’s hands tracing Adora’s spine, slipping under the elastic of her bra.

“You’re such a sap,” Catra hummed.  _ I love you _ , she meant.

“Don’t act like you don’t like it.”  _ I love you too _ .

Adora’s lips returned to her collar, the fire in Catra’s body only growing bigger and brighter with every touch, sparks flying as Adora’s hands cupped her chest, gasping and clutching Adora’s shoulders to ground herself in the bliss.

“Ah- _ Adora _ .”

The sounds only fueled Adora’s passion, lips trailing down to Catra’s chest and dotting kisses across her breast before  _ finally _ taking a nipple into her mouth.  _ Holy shit _ . A breathy whine escaped Catra, arching her spine into Adora’s mouth and slowly feeling her restraint slip. Fingers tugged and pinched at Catra’s neglected breast, and the magicat was barely aware of the visceral way her hips ground up into Adora’s, the blonde’s moan reverberating in her chest.

“You’re so needy,” Adora mumbled against the skin once she had pulled away, her voice breathless in awe and adoration for the girl beneath her. Catra didn’t even entertain the idea of a witty reply.

“For you,” she gasped, head lolled back as Adora’s lips continued their descent down her sternum, her stomach, kissing and nipping just above the band of her underwear. Self restraint had thrown itself out the second storey window, Catra’s senses on fire and her vocabulary reduced to nothing but please and whimpers. “Fuck _ , _ Adora  _ please _ .”

  
  


“Shhh,” the blonde hushed, kissing her way back up and gently capturing Catra’s lips with her own for a kiss the magicat thought was far too short. “You’re doing so good. So good for me.”

Catra's heart lodged in her throat, and her eyes began to well. A small, breathy sigh left her lips, and the magicat could feel herself mirroring the smile Adora gave her.

"Good girl. You're so good, Gods, I love you so much, Catra."

Punctuated with a kiss to her forehead, Catra keened at the praise. Everything Adora did, Catra needed more. The fire only kept growing when Adora’s fingers lightly traced the hem of her underwear, ocean eyes staring into her.

“Do you want me to take these off?”

When Adora didn’t accept a nod as an answer, Catra’s request escaped as a high, breathy whine.

“Fuck,  _ yes. _ Need you to touch me, Adora. Please.”

Catra wanted to keep the memory of Adora smiling down at her, her eyes full of nothing but  _ love _ , in her mind forever. Adora,  _ her  _ Adora, who loved her. She wanted to be the first thing on her mind when she woke up every morning, and the last thing she remembered as she took her final breath. As Adora slid her underwear over her hips and down her legs, the cool air between her hips making her gasp, Catra knew this girl was going to be the death of her. But what a heavenly way to die.

Adora lay her hands gently on Catra’s thighs, a blush dusted on her cheeks as the brunette parted them.

“You’re so beautiful,” she mumbled, kissing Catra sweetly for just a moment. “Are you ready?”

Despite the roaring fire between her thighs and her heart trying to escape through her ribcage, Catra found herself smiling.

“Yeah. I’m ready.”

Adora revisited the trail she had already left with her lips, nuzzling her check against the soft fur as Catra wound her hands through unkempt blond hair. The sight was so new, but Catra wanted to get used to it. An uncharacteristically soft smile made it’s home on Adora’s lips as she prowled her way down Catra’s body, fingertips leaving sparks in her wake and sending shocks up her spine.

_ How does this dork still manage to be cute with her head between my thighs? _

Adora's face beamed, planting a soft kiss to the inside of her thigh, hands grasping Catra’s hips when they bucked into her touch. Ocean eyes were full of awe, adoration,  _ love _ . Catra hoped the giddiness of the realisation would never go away.

“I love you.”

The words had escaped before Catra could stop them, and as Adora planted another kiss on the inside of her hip, she could feel her smile against the skin.

“I love you too.”

Catra could feel Adora’s warm breath against her, her hips fighting against the blonde’s grip as their eyes locked. A raise of eyebrows asked the question, a nod answering.

One broad stroke of her tongue was all it took for Catra to surrender all control to the girl she loved, gasping and whining for Adora to devour her, burn her to ashes from the inside out, to sear away her sins and let Catra love her with a clean slate and a new beginning.

It was clumsy, and messy, but Catra didn’t care. Adora, like she did with everything new, threw her entire being into her task, arms wound around Catra’s thighs and keeping her pressed to Adora’s face. As if Catra would want to be anywhere else. Her tongue spread her open and worshipped every new place she found, her nose bumping the bundle of nerves on a larger stroke.

“ _ Ngh! _ Fuck, there!”

Adora pulled away for half a second, mulling something over before gently pulling back the hood hiding Catra’s swollen clit and  _ sucking _ .

“Ahh- _ Adora! _ ” she cried, practically grinding against her face, silently begging for more,  _ more,  _ **_more._ ** Attentive as ever, Adora unwound one leg, lightly stroking her neglected core and flicking her tongue over Catra’s clit.

“A-Add a finger,” Catra begged, barely able to utter the words through the moans that came on her own accord. “Adora,  _ please! _ ”

“Shh, I’ve got you,” the blonde hushed, dotting light kisses around her pubic bone and watching Catra carefully. “I’m going to take care of you, I promise.” One finger gently probed her entrance, and Catra could feel the coil inside of her growing tighter and tighter. Finally, Adora eased in one finger, right down to her knuckle.

“Gods, you’re so wet,” Adora breathed, moving to kiss Catra’s lower stomach, feeling it tense under her touch. “Are you okay? Do you want me to move?”

Apparently, Adora decided the guttural moan from Catra would suffice as an answer, her finger pumping slowly at first, then faster as the magicat bucked her hips at the pace she wanted. Adora was never going to say no to her.

Catra thrashed on the mattress, spine arched towards the heavens and her hips bucking wildly as she fucked herself on Adora’s finger-  _ fingers. _ The stretch of the second was welcome with a high whine, as was the feeling of Adora’s thumb on her clit, rubbing small circles over the nerves, and Catra found herself reaching for the blonde.

“A-Adora, I-  _ fuck _ , baby, I’m so close,” she whined, carding her fingers across Adora’s scalp. “Kiss me,  _ please. _ ”

Unable to resist and wanting nothing more than to please her love, Adora released her remaining thigh, keeping time as best she could as she moved to hover over Catra, and  _ heavens, _ the sight of her like this was  _ breathtaking _ .

Catra craned up to kiss Adora, arms fastened around her strong shoulders, and the blonde could taste the love and desperation swimming in her soul. She pushed through the cramp in her forearm, curling her fingers inside Catra and finding a soft, ridged pad, pressing it and coaxing a visceral moan from her lover.

“ _ There _ ,” she mumbled against Adora’s lips. “Right there, baby.”

Adora doubled her efforts, feeling Catra’s walls begin to squeeze down around her fingers and hearing her whimpers. She pressed their foreheads together, smiling.

“Come for me, Catra. I’ve got you.”  _ I’ll catch you. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours. _

The silent promise was all she needed, Catra gasping and whining as she felt herself fall apart under Adora’s hands, in Adora’s arms.

When the stars behind her eyes disappeared, and her body regained its senses, she felt Adora placing featherlight kisses across her face, fingers slowly drawing out of her as Catra caught her breath.

“I’m right here, I’ve got you,” Adora breathed, kissing her forehead. Catra beamed at the woman above her, hands moving to cup her cheeks and pull her into a sweet, slow kiss.

“You’re unnaturally good at that,” Catra hummed, coaxing a breathy chuckle from Adora. “Are you sure you haven’t done that before?”

Adora shook her head, moving to lay beside Catra, eyes never leaving her.

“I didn’t want it. Not if it wasn’t with you.”

The utter  _ love _ in Adora’s voice left Catra breathless, and she found herself smiling. When Adora reached down for the covers to pull it over them, Catra gripped her wrist.

“Are you too warm? We can sleep without the covers if you-”

“You haven’t had your turn.”

Adora’s eyes went wide, like she hadn’t even entertained the idea of Catra returning the favour.

“You don’t have to, Catra. You’re probably tired-”

“I  _ want _ to,” Catra cut in, pressing a gentle kiss to Adora’s cheek. “If you want me to, and you feel comfortable with it, I want to make you feel good.”

  
  


Glassy eyes softened, the blonde smiling at Catra and giving a single nod.

“Okay.”

A kiss on Adora’s cheek trailed down to her jaw, then her neck, Catra’s hand exploring the expanse of her toned stomach. Soft, breathy whimpers left the blonde’s lips as Catra’s fingers dove below the hem of her underwear, finding her entrance and gasping at the sheer warmth and wetness she found there.

“All this for me?” she teased, watching Adora nod against the pillow with eyes screwed up. God, Catra was smitten with this girl, breaking every rule she had ever made to  _ never _ fall in love with Adora. Best rule break ever. Catra reattached her lips to Adora’s neck, kissing and sucking on her pulse point as she slowly eased in one finger. At the small whisper of  _ ‘more’ _ from Adora, she added a second, smiling at the squeezing of Adora’s walls around her. The effect was instantaneous. Adora’s hips slowly kept time with Catra’s fingers, a hand moving to tangle in Catra’s mane and her name leaving the blonde’s lips, over and over again, whimpering pleas and guttural moans.

“Catra, I’m-” A deep moan cut her off before she could finish, but Catra knew.

“I’ve got you, baby,” she whispered. “Let go.”

Adora fell apart with a high whimper of Catra’s name, hips still and legs trembling as Catra eased her down from the high. Bringing her fingers to her lips, Catra cleaned them off. She had to fight the moan back down, the taste reigniting the want in her chest. But the want was buried beneath the love, rising and threatening to choke Catra as she watched Adora’s eyes open and look at her, shining blue filled with pure and utter joy.

  
  


“Hey, welcome back,” Catra hummed, kissing Adora’s cheek softly. The blonde hummed, sighing quietly as the two settled in beside each other, Catra curled against Adora’s side with an arm thrown over her stomach, legs tangled together. She watched the rise and fall of Adora’s chest slow and steady, blue eyes closed once more with a slight smile on her lips.

  
  


“I love you, Adora.”

Catra watched the smile grow bigger, even in her dorky, half-asleep state.

“I love you too, Catra. So so much.”

With Catra tucked under Adora’s arm and holding her close, the world outside faded into oblivion. It was just Catra and Adora, in a Brightmoon Academy dorm room with bare skin pressed together. There were no greasers. No Socs. No troubling thoughts of what tomorrow’s sunlight would bring. She knew that whatever decided to mess with them, they would be alright. The two were reunited, stronger than ever, and inseparable.

For the first time in her life, Catra fell asleep with a smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and it's done! thank you all so much for reading 'side effects' and for entertaining my greaser/soc au with my current obsession xx

**Author's Note:**

> yell at me on tumblr if you want to request a fic!
> 
> beeeeetle.tumblr.com


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